My Dodda in a Day
When the clouds part, my grandmother is on the move. Her locks
flap in the wind, she hides the flaps on her skin. She always finds
a way to burrow inside herself, to position her limbs
in the shadows of the sun. She runs faster each time reality catches up.
India rises from its trout-lipped slumber and her basket
is already filled with buds. Jasmine sugarcoats her
already-strained smile (she’ll have to turn the corners by noon) and
prepares to string itself on garlands. Dodda works the jasmine’s
milky color to a lather and scrubs until a bumpy rash of rose
envelops
her brown. Not cream; she will try again tomorrow.
At 11, she bustles down flights of stairs. She kneads
dough, slices strips, until the salt that drips from her face
is enough
seasoning. Until the blood that washes over her hands
hides the henna, tinges dough sindoor-colored. So she
sweeps a mark across her forehead and prays. Clasps her
hands, asks for a new face.
The clock finally chimes 12 and she stacks 4 tiffins of lunch
and dons a crimson sari to wash out the weakness. Her feet
are quick. Her husband’s are quicker. When he’s through, her
wavering teeth—more ocean than stronghold—attack
her own hands over and over and recrudesce
in waves over and over and
3 PM and she practices teetering spoons on her palms to
prepare for the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her
daughter-in-law is growing grayer and frailer (men like a
little meat on the bones—more cooking for Dodda). Her
niece, who once painted the solar system on her eyelids, let
her
planets get lost on earth (the ones who aren’t pretty need
to be smart —Dodda can’t marry them off right away). And her
daughter who runs at the same time as she does every morning
to connect with the life she once had (she shuffles through a
gated neighborhood in neon Adidas while Dodda turns around
to watch for hungry eyes, wearing sandals that peel at the
heels).
The nightjar sings in tune with her landline. Quiet, subliminal
darkness unfolds the cloak of nighttime. 13,000 miles away
we are greeting the sun. We prattle about carnivals and tank
tops, about new friends and opportunities, about technology,
about goals. “Dodda, when will you come to see us?” “Soon,
bungaru, soon.” Then she tucks her self in with a blanket that
steams like rice and dreams her wishes into our
realities.
Kashvi Ramani
edited: Saumik Sharma